She sat on her couch quietly, book in her lap, not quite reading it as her eyes were set gazing outside the window. It was a cool day, overcast, and it seemed like the whole day the clouds were on the verge of misting the air with rain. Yet it never quiet managed. Letting out a soft sigh she took in this moment. Feeling more grounded than she had ever felt. She would say in her life, but that didn’t feel quiet right because, she did have distant memories of moments of calm, peace, and tranquility during her childhood. Present. That's the word she was looking for. Now, for the first time since this whole pandemic hit she could say she felt present. The world, so well versed in distracting her from anything that truly mattered, was silent here. Allowing this moment.
There was no more getting away to a coffee shop to blog, no more running off to work, traveling to far off places. No thousand coffee, lunch, or shopping dates with friends to catch up. No distractions of what to buy next, to work towards, to travel to. Those days have been long replaced with staying still. Truly still. Her birthday, which was last year, spent swept away making pasta on rooftops of Rome, was traded in for a quiet birthday in her city. It was a hard birthday because she realized something she hadn’t before. She was always running. Towards, away, from, around, it didn’t matter because she was always running tirelessly. She couldn’t remember the last time she stopped.
Taking a sip of her peppermint tea, feeling the warm herbal water fill her soul, she paused again. She was getting good at that. Stopping never sounded like something that she ever wanted to do before. There was so much out there in the world and it was full of adventures, mysteries, excitement, experiences, and she wanted to try them all. And by the gods, she did. Yet now, even though the urge to jump to the next adventure lives in her, she’s realizing more and more that it’s absolutely perfect being exactly where she is. That this moment alone is worth more than a thousands moments wishfully trying to be somewhere, someone, or something else. That this moment was just as perfect as any of the others before. Yet she wasn’t trying to fight for it to happen, it was effortlessly and gracefully just being a moment. One she knew she would carry with her for years to come.
A friendly reminder to all those who, like a hummingbird, are trying to find the best spot for nectar. Sometimes that spot is exactly where you are.